ResomationNews of the Hereafter

Masonic Cemetery (Sheridan, OR)
Late breaking news from the world of the dead:

You probably saw this stuff in your hometown paper or elsewhere, but if you happened to have missed it, here are a couple notes from our paper, The Oregonian:

An unnamed cemetery in Chicago (4/26/09) has built “a red brick wall designed to resemble the one in dead center at Wrigley Field… and is ready to accept the cremated remains of Cubs fans—inside $800 Cubbie blue and white urns if they wish.”

I’ve heard said that being a Cubs fan will kill you.

The same paper reported (5/13/09) that the State of Oregon is looking to regulate new body disposal methods, ones I’d never heard of. One process called “resomation” (if you can believe that; I couldn’t find it in any dictionary on-line) “dissolve[s] bodies into a soapy liquid.” That sounds especially wonderful. Another alternative is to freeze-dry Uncle Jake and grind him up “into a fine powder” which can be disposed of in a biodegradable coffin.

Or, presumably, added to your favorite cake recipe, little by little.

“Eat up now, children. Remember how Uncle Jake used to love chocolate cake?”